Welcome to my April Blog! Ok, I am deeply humbled by last months blog post feedback. I had so many people reach out and tell me they felt the same exact way. For those of you that didn't read it, the subject was about social media and comparing ourselves to others. It can be found on the website.

This month is kind of piggybacking on that subject. This months blog post is: Frick, I Don't Wanna Get Old!!

I have a legit, serious, and sometimes debilitating worry about growing old. It's crazy to me because I'm also super, super scared about dying young. So it's like I need to find a happy medium.

I don't know where my fascination with having to look "good" all the time came into play for me. My Grandma Marlys always looked fabulous, in my opinion. One of my besties used to call her "Governor Grandma" because she was literally ALWAYS put together! I clearly remember spending the night with her and grandpa. Every night, she locked herself into the bathroom for what seemed like hours. She had a fancy chair in her bathroom that was always bellied up to her bathroom counter vanity. Now that I'm older, maybe she was in there just unwinding and being alone after a full day of being a wife, mother, grandmother and nurse...I really don't know. I do know that she took a lot of that time prepping her face for bedtime! I think about her and that every single time I get ready for bed at night.

Is that where it started in my brain?

I always had to wear makeup in public. And I say "had" because now that I've gotten older, I am a little more lax on that. I do like to look presentable, but I don't let it make or break my day. Sometimes, the girls and I will wake up on a Saturday morning and go eat at the cafe - no makeup and wearing sweats. It's balance, I guess.

Putting makeup on and looking presentable was easy back before I had wrinkles! Haha! ...back before I saw creases in my forehead and neck. I sometimes think I'd like to look into the mirror and see my 20 year old self again and just see, first hand, how things have started to go downhill. Oof...

Is plastic surgery the answer? I don't know. I've had it done before. After I knew I was done having children, I had a tummy tuck. Best decision of my life!!

I got a tummy tuck eight or so years ago not because I thought I was fat, but because I hated the look of the extra skin. Let's be real - I birthed five children! I gained, no joke, 40 pounds or so with my oldest. Do you know what that does to a body? Cripes.

So, I got plastic surgery! The morning of my consultation I was super, super nervous. While waiting for the doctor, I asked the nurse about botox. In addition to the loose skin on my belly, I was beginning to absolutely despise my forehead wrinkles . I was assuming botox was thousands of dollars so I just asked out of curiosity. Well... botox is not thousands of dollars so I bit the bullet and had her do some on my forehead... and I've never looked back! Now, I go in for a botox date every three to four months. So if you are wanting to look into botox, do it!! You won't regret it.

Now, let's talk about the falling cheeks. And I'm not talking about the butt cheeks; although, I'd lift those surgically in a heartbeat if I wanted to spend the money on them.

The cheeks on my face are beginning to fall. The natural collagen decreases and... down goes the cheeks! I've asked my botox technician about fixing it and it's possible. It does require a consult with the doctor as it is a bit more in depth than just some needle pokes in the forehead. I have a botox appt next week and I WILL be looking into that procedure.... LOOKING into, not getting... as of yet.

So, to summarize my thoughts.... being a woman is fricking hard. Loving yourself is even harder! I know I'm not alone, but one thing you'll never get from me is guilt about going under the knife. If plastic surgery is something you're considering, you'll get nothing but MAJOR support from me. If your physical image is harming your mental health, why not? I'm not here telling any of you to do it or that any of you NEED it, I'm here telling you that if you do go for it, it's NONE of anyone else's business and.... you go girl!